Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)


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Let’s Get Serious about Laughing – WRITERS' RUMPUS

Well, allow me to retort.

What does Marsellus Wallace look like? Jules : What country are you from? Jules : "What" ain't no country I've ever heard of.

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They speak English in What? Jules : English, motherfucker, do you speak it? Brett : Yes! Jules : Then you know what I'm sayin'! Jules : Describe what Marsellus Wallace looks like! Jules : Say 'what' again.

Say 'what' again, I dare you, I double dare you motherfucker, say what one more Goddamn time! Jules : If my answers frighten you then you should cease asking scary questions. Vincent : And you know what they call a Jules : They don't call it a Quarter Pounder with cheese?

Vincent : No man, they got the metric system. They wouldn't know what the fuck a Quarter Pounder is. Jules : Then what do they call it? Vincent : They call it a Royale with cheese. Jules : A Royale with cheese. What do they call a Big Mac? Jules : Le Big-Mac. Ha ha ha ha. What do they call a Whopper? Vincent : I dunno, I didn't go into Burger King.

Jules : I'm not giving you that money. I'm buying something from you. Wanna know what I'm buyin' Ringo? Pumpkin : What?

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Jules : Your life. I'm givin' you that money so I don't have to kill your ass. You read the Bible? Pumpkin : Not regularly.

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Jules : There's a passage I got memorized. Ezekiel Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon you.

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I been sayin' that shit for years. And if you ever heard it, that meant your ass. You'd be dead right now. I never gave much thought to what it meant. I just thought it was a cold-blooded thing to say to a motherfucker before I popped a cap in his ass. But I saw some shit this mornin' made me think twice. See, now I'm thinking: maybe it means you're the evil man. And I'm the righteous man. And Mr. Or it could mean you're the righteous man and I'm the shepherd and it's the world that's evil and selfish.

And I'd like that. But that shit ain't the truth. The truth is you're the weak. And I'm the tyranny of evil men. But I'm tryin', Ringo.

I'm tryin' real hard to be the shepherd. Vincent : Want some bacon? Jules : No man, I don't eat pork. Vincent : Are you Jewish? Jules : Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all. Vincent : Why not? Jules : Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals. Vincent : Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood. Jules : Hey, sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'd never know 'cause I wouldn't eat the filthy motherfucker.

Pigs sleep and root in shit.

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That's a filthy animal. I ain't eat nothin' that ain't got sense enough to disregard its own feces. Vincent : How about a dog? Dogs eats its own feces. Jules : I don't eat dog either. Vincent : Yeah, but do you consider a dog to be a filthy animal? Jules : I wouldn't go so far as to call a dog filthy but they're definitely dirty.

But, a dog's got personality. Personality goes a long way. Vincent : Ah, so by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, he would cease to be a filthy animal. Is that true? Jules : Well we'd have to be talkin' about one charming motherfuckin' pig. I mean he'd have to be ten times more charmin' than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin'?

This is some fucked-up repugnant shit. Vincent : Jules, did you ever hear the philosophy that once a man admits that he's wrong that he is immediately forgiven for all wrongdoings? Have you ever heard that? Jules : Get the fuck out my face with that shit! The motherfucker that said that shit never had to pick up itty-bitty pieces of skull on account of your dumb ass.

Vincent : I got a threshold, Jules. I got a threshold for the abuse that I will take. Now, right now, I'm a fuckin' race car, right, and you got me the red. And I'm just sayin', I'm just sayin' that it's fuckin' dangerous to have a race car in the fuckin' red. That's all. I could blow.

Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)
Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction) Lets Get Serious (Lets Get Funny Fiction)

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